In today’s remote working environment, often we struggle to connect with people we work with who are also in the same boat. However we soon forget that when we were working in the same office and sitting around the same table with these same people, we still had this problem. I had a challenge like to this once with a teammate that I, as well as others, hadn't really connected with. I decided to make the extra effort to bridge the gap with this person, all to a successful outcome.

At the time I was with an international firm on an international project based in Boston. On the project was a mix of people from the Boston area, around the US and a few from around the world. One in particular was from Australia. When he came into the office, his presence was known. He dressed a little differently from the rest of us had a certain swagger. Not to forget he had a unique accent. None of this really mattered to me, and I introduced myself to him and told him I looked forward to working with him. Despite this initial outreach, I wasn’t really sure he felt the same towards me.

Often this colleague and I were in the same meetings, representing our teams on the project. I learned quickly he didn’t mix words and would speak honestly, though not always the most appropriately, at least by American standards. Often he would mix colloquial terms from Australia into work discussions, causing people to scratch their heads. As a result, many people focused on how he was saying something rather than what he was saying.

I looked at this situation differently. Here was someone who had come from another part of the world and was now stationed in Boston; though Boston is a very international and cosmopolitan, it still harken back to its conservative colonial roots. He came into this ever-expanding group and was trying to make a name for himself.

A Literally Off The Shelf Solution

One day I looked ahead and saw I was scheduled to be in a meeting with him the next. That night I was thinking of how I could finally break the ice with him. As I looked around my home office I found the answer sitting on my bookshelf. The next day I brought it in to work, a book of Australian slang. It was given to me years earlier by another colleague from Australia. It was a rather thick book, the size of large novel. Even though I had held onto it for years, I never thought it would come in handy in this capacity.

As we gathered the next day in a conference room, I sat directly across from my colleague from Down Under. Just as a meeting started, I looked across the table at him and taking the book out, I slammed it on the middle of the table. As did, I said something to the effect that he wasn’t going to get away with using any Australian slang expressions on me any longer.

To this he was a at first taken aback, then he looked straight at me and smiled. From that point forward, we had a much better working relationship, and I got to know him more personally as well. It all happened because I was simply willing to work to make a connection with him.

Deconstructing Connecting with Colleagues

Every situation is different and sometimes we don't always get it right. When it comes to personalities, I feel it's definitely worth trying to connect with people. Many times just from that effort we can gain appreciation and for each other and work well together.

This is from The Hot Iron, a journal on business and technology by Mike Maddaloni.

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