AI-generated image of people walking down the street wearing clothing with ME on it generated by ChatGPT

One of my neighbors back in Chicago shared his last name with that of a popular apparel brand. On occasion I would see him and his family wearing that brand of clothing, and I always thought that was wicked cool. I never lamented there is not a clothing line with my last name, nor did I go to the extent of visiting one of the myriad of customizable clothing Web sites out there and order something with “MADDALONI” blazoned on it. Buying existing clothes with your name, that’s ok. Ordering your own clothes with your name, that’s a little much, even for me.

My surname is far from mainstream, but it is not entirely uncommon. The etymology of the name is not surprisingly Italy, and there are communities that bare my surname. Where I personally have never met other Maddalonis who are not a relative, I have connected with some online. I got a LinkedIn connection once from a college student who, as a youth, when he would Google himself my name would always come up, so he thought he’d connect with me. Yes, there are others named Mike Maddaloni out there, including him and the retired Secret Service agent whose book I read and shared my takeaways from years ago.

The name Maddaloni applied to people, surely. But attached to products?

Finding Myself

A holdover from the days of when I was actively managing my personal brand is Google Alerts for my last name. This free service from the Big Tech giant will send you a daily email of any mention of any string, phrase, name, etc. that appears new in the annals of Google’s databases and models. I’ve kept it running, for every once in a while, some Web site appears with a mention of me in it. These days those are rare, and most often the links include an Italian DJ/producer and a Long Island, New York based jewelry store. They have also informed me of long-lost relatives who have died.

The other week I got a Google Alert with a link to my last name on something I wasn’t expecting: a ductless island range hood in stainless steel.

The link in the Google Alert was to the above-shown listing on Home Depot Canada’s Web site. Upon further searching I found other links for this device for sale including on what appears to be the manufacturer’s Web site where other products are named after what also appear to be names that sound Italian.

I was tempted to contact the maker of this appliance, however after a past experience of a similar inquiry I decided not to.

If you think a range hood is random, how about a bikini bottom?

As the father of daughters, the last thing I ever want to be thinking about is bikinis. But there it was, a bikini bottom with the same name as said daughters.

The link was to the Web site of Silvia Tcherassi, a Columbian fashion designer. Captivated by this, I reached out to the email addresses listed on the Web site of her US-based headquarters to ask why my last name was tied to such an itsy bitsy teenie weenie product, however I never got a response. Where the item is no longer available on her Web site, you can see the (un)fortunately sold-out swimwear on Saks Fifth Avenue’s Off 5th Web site.

Deconstructing Your Name as a Brand Name

Many desire to see their name in lights, and others do not. Even when you do, seeing it in or on something can evoke emotions from amusing to embarrassing. Although I may not be buying my eponymous range hood, not am I not sadden by the unavailability of these bikini bottoms, it’s intriguing to know they are out there. Google Alerts and similar Web searches can alert you to what to look for, or what to simply avoid. Do you have Google Alerts for yourself, or have you searched on your name lately? I welcome you to share your thoughts – with or without your name – in the comments of this post.

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This is from The Hot Iron, a journal on business and technology by Mike Maddaloni.

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